Do you ever feel like you put so much effort into a first draft and it is not exactly what you expected? Personally, I used to feel discouraged because my writing would not turn out how I visioned it. The emotions I wanted to convey were not there or the words I used sounded like they came out of a kindergartner. It was not until I saw the writing process of poet Valerie Worth that I realized how important revision is. Your first draft is a starting point on your writing journey and you can use strategies to refine the work. One of my favorite ideas for revising poetry, specifically, is the “Poetry Toolbox” from Georgia Heard’s Awakening the Heart. 

These strategies and figments of literature have helped me during the revising process especially to help readers put themselves into the work. They all work together to bring the words to life.

The poem that I have been working on is very emotional for me because it is remembering a moment in time when I was ten years old. My process involved adding elements of the five senses: sight, touch, smell, taste, and sound. Thinking of personification and poetic language were parts of editing as well. The end I added the idea of writing a letter with “dear…” and I enjoyed the emotions that I felt while writing it. I want the audience to experience my feelings and the atmosphere around me. So here are my drafts that led to my final piece:

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The final reads:

“Oh how I remember

my heartbeat

heavy thuds of a racehorse’s hooves

beating against my chest,

inching forward

the car moves in slow motion

my body, ungluing from the seat

unable to sit still.

 

The arrival, a blur of people and noise

elevators ding, heels clip up stairs

white washed hallways buzz

with life,

the smell of sterilizer

stinging my nostrils

hangs suspended in the air

clings to every surface.

 

and then…

 

The seemingly hours of washing

scrubbing my hands

each finger, under every nail

up to my elbows,

I climb into a pale blue robe

the paper stiff

against the goosebumps

that cover my skin.

 

Oh how I remember that sign

‘Dad, what does NICU mean?’

Dear neonatal intensive care unity,

 

my brother has his life

thanks to you.”

 

Thank you

–Kaitlin Woodworth

 

I do not consider myself a poet, but I wanted to share this experience because even as a ten year old I was so aware of my state of mind when my brother was born almost three months early. If I were to edit it even more, I would add a stanza, or a line, about holding him for the first time. I think it would be powerful to show how fragile the experience was. As he was only two pounds, I was so nervous to touch him. All three of my brothers are so dear to me and are the reason that I am who I am today so I wanted to write a poem close to my heart. And I think that is what poetry is. Here is a picture of my little Rocky Mountain brother who is 13 years old and taller than I am already:

(And everyone pray for all the little middle school girls in Fort Collins, CO.)